Mohamad Cholid, Practicing Certified Executive and Leadership Coach
Great leaders are brave enough to do the tango with their vulnerabilities, against all odds.
SET in an elegant restaurant in New York, with a shiny dance floor and uplifting music. Frank Slade, a blind, retired Army Ranger Lieutenant Colonel, is being guided by Charlie Simms towards a beautiful woman sitting alone, waiting for her partner. Her name is Donna. Having received her permission to sit down with her and introduced themselves to each other, Frank asks Donna to learn the tango with him.
“I think I’d be a little afraid” says Donna, who, deep down, wants to know how to tango, a dance with endless possibilities — where one shares every moment and every bit of their trust with a partner.
“Afraid of what?” asks Frank.
“Afraid of making a mistake,” Donna answers.
“No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. It’s simple. That’s what makes the tango so great,” Frank replies.
And so, they do the tango. With a measure of caution, instead of the usual passion. Nevertheless, it is still enough to transform the moment. That was the scene from the movie Scent of a Woman.
A leader, other than having a tough mentality, should also be skilled at tango. Because as Frank Slade (portrayed by Al Pacino) says, there are no mistakes in the tango. And that is what makes the tango so great.
In another story, tango can be interpreted as taking the lead, being dynamic, and taking care of one’s partner with vulnerability and while minding each other’s limitations. Leadership, in many cases, is a bit like the tango – there is no right or wrong, only dynamic engagement.
As long as a leader has strong integrity, enough humility to own up to their mistakes, and the ability to respect the stakeholders as their “dance partners”, he would have the confidence to remain firm while making decisions or taking leadership steps.
Sometimes, the path that he pursues with the stakeholders to achieve success can be tenuous. But as a leader, he still has to make the decisions.
The courage of you and other executives is highly determined by your humility and open-mindedness in facing new challenges, just like doing the tango.
Your worth as a leader is not only measured by your readiness to step out of the comfort zone, but also by your willingness to live life without alibis.
Alibis, like blames (towards other parties, superiors, subordinates, or business partners), excuses, and denials, often used to avoid responsibilities, including procrastination, will never change the facts of business nor life.
In business environments, state institutions, and society, there is a growing belief that people who are worthy of leading are those who are firm in treading vulnerability. Not unlike how true warriors are always ready to enter unknown territory.
With structured training, anyone who has the will to put their life force into work can undoubtedly fill the role of a true warrior.
Do we have to be perfect for that? No, we don’t.
Each time we enter a new stage of life, aren’t we all vulnerable to new environments and the possibility of making the wrong decisions—or even taking the wrong direction? The process of maturation depends on our sincerity in managing vulnerabilities.
That also applies to the process of leadership development. Leadership, supported by the humility to receive suggestions from the stakeholders, is also an act of entering the vulnerable zone.
A lot of leaders have misinterpreted it. This group believes that by being open with their subordinates, they would be putting a threat to their position. So they cower behind organizational hierarchies to hide their imperfections. They are trapped in an illusion that leadership is an inflated position and ego.
You can easily recognize their characteristics: because they are the boss, they are allowed to regularly be late for meetings, no matter by how much. At the same time, their subordinates, who are only five minutes late, get reprimanded. Usually, you could also spot them opening their phones multiple times in the middle of a strategic meeting—only to read messages.
These people would rather blame their subordinates rather than improve their own behavior. Facts and experience have proven that leadership patterns like that are very ineffective and would often cause team demotivation and organizational losses.
On the contrary, leaders who live up to the strength of vulnerability spirit—which, lately, has become the new trend within executives of great companies and institutions in many countries—upholds openness.
They have proven that by having the openness of mind and heart towards the team and other stakeholders, they are producing more positive results. Mainly, they are creating a more robust institutional habit and a better bottom line.
This group of leaders generally have clarity and focus on one or two business targets. They are not tempted by new ideas that are distractive and might endanger the organization into sidetracking.
Companies or institutions that they lead usually manage to give extraordinarily positive impacts for the stakeholders. Concrete examples of this, which have become legendary stories in the business world, are Steve Jobs and his journey in developing Apple (surely you have read about this, right?) and Alan Mulally, who saved Ford Motor Company from a loss of US$ 12.7 billion to achieving profit.
During his time as the CEO of Ford (2006-2014), Alan Mulally promoted a tradition of openness in routine meetings with his management team, which allowed the directors and division heads to see the company’s business facts — including deficiencies, failures, and improvement plan — from different divisions.
Meetings were held without judgment, side talks, nor interruptions — even from cellphones. With the spirit of One Ford, every person is ready to help improve divisions other than theirs. Mulally stated that leadership is more about the interests of the people, not of the leaders.
If every executive is open, including in admitting their limits on fields not within their expertise, the truth is that their coworkers would help. It is one of the benefits of the strength of vulnerability. Open up, admit flaws, be vulnerable, and receive support.
On the level of country governance, great leaders who are successful in uplifting their nations have usually gone through situations of vulnerability. They would humbly enter into uncertainty, a manageable one.
On May 25th, 1961, when US President John F. Kennedy declared the moon landing, he was actually in a very vulnerable situation.
The outer space technology of the United States was still behind that of the Uni Soviet, who had successfully sent cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin to outer space on April 12th, 1961. The political settings of the United States were also in a critical position, due to the incident at the Bay of Pigs. A CIA-led paramilitary invasion on Cuba, which aimed to overthrow Fidel Castro, had recently failed.
Another example. When Bung Karno (Sukarno), Commander Sudirman, Bung Tomo, and the rest of the Indonesian founding fathers moved against the invaders, they were in a very vulnerable condition. The physical fitness and health of Commander Sudirman were even far from ideal for leading a guerilla.
It turns out that precisely because of that vulnerable state, John F. Kennedy was able to receive support from NASA and other scientists from different fields to realize his vision of landing humankind on the moon.
Similarly, the founding fathers of Indonesia received tremendous support, even to the point where a lot of people were ready to sacrifice their lives for their country — despite the fact that Indonesia as a nation state was still an the process to exist.
That is the power obtained by the leaders who dare enter the zone of endless possibilities and vulnerable conditions. That vulnerability shows their sincerity and magnificence as mere human beings, the same as their team members, only with different responsibilities.
They have a compelling vision, integrity, and bravery to act. Also, the courage to ask the stakeholders to do the tango, without fear of making mistakes, and thus prove themselves to be great leaders.
To lead with an open heart and mind is to create a pathway for the team to enter a stage of cheerful cooperation, heartful commitment, and even creative excitement.
Mohamad Cholid is a Member of Global Coach Group (www.globalcoachgroup.com) & Head Coach at Next Stage Coaching.
- Certified Executive Coach at Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching
- Certified Marshall Goldsmith Global Leadership Assessment (GLA 360)
- Certified Global Coach Group Leadership Assessment & Coach
- Alumnus The International Academy for Leadership, Jerman